I am a survivor

In the months preceding the release of “Breaking the Silence” I saw people writing all over the Facebook walls of TLC, the Duggar family, Rainn, and Darkness to Light.  I saw screenshots of Twitter posts how Erin Merryn should be ashamed to allow the Duggars on her platform.  I viewed the numerous petitions to boycott the release.  I looked the haters’ proud copies of letters they sent to sponsors trying to keep the documentary from airing.  They claimed they were concerned for victims.  Yet they were writing vile things on Jessa Seewald’s and Jill Dillard’s accounts.  Every post and every Instagram met with some form of hate.

I personally was asked the following question over and over.  “Why do you still support the Duggars?”  This blog will tell you why.  Let me start by telling  you to get your tissues handy.  If you have any issues with PTSD I caution you before reading.  i do not want to cause you a flashback episode before you have to do something important.

I support the Duggars because I saw a family that reacted in a positive manner.  They believed their children and took steps to protect them.  When the measures they were using were not successful, they removed the abuser from the home and got him treatment.  He was not allowed home until he he was a changed person.

You see the families that I know have totally different stories.  Today I will concentrate on one girls childhood.  One day she walked in a bedroom to see her brother in bed with another younger family member both were naked.  They were engaging in a sexual act.  The boy was 6 years older than the girl.  Years later she found out that her brother had stumbled upon some hidden porn magazines.  She told the adults.  The children were split up and nothing was done.

A little while later that brother began attacking her every chance their parents left them alone.  She remembers fighting for her virginity by crawling under an old metal bed and seeing the metal spring as she held on dearly to a leg nearest the wall.  She kicked and screamed until he gave up and she stayed under that bed until she heard her parents came home.  She would go for a walk in the fields and be jumped by him.  One day she got smart enough to tell him he could make her pregnant and that would be something he could explain to their father.  That tactic did not last long and he was back at it.

One night she was able to get away and ran to their brother’s house.  She told her sister in law what was happening.  Her sister in law’s solution was that she would pray about it but since it was such a hard topic to talk about write a letter to her parents.  Friends at this part of the story I want to say prayer is a powerful thing but when a child is being abused you need to take action.  She stayed at her brother’s house until her parents were home.

She wrote the letter and gave it to her mother.  Her mother read it and got this sad look on her face.  She put the paper in the fire.  The next morning at breakfast her mother addressed her brother with these words, “If I ever hear of you trying to hurt your sister or ripping at her clothes again I will beat you.  The father looked up in shock and asked him what his mother was talking about.  He went on to say, “Boys protect their sisters not hurt them.  You will pay for any clothes you ripped.”  That was that.

A short time later the girl was on the bus seated next to her nephew, the brother’s son.  He had overheard the conversation with his mother and said to her, “You are having sex with your brother.”  She slapped him.  Of course the bus driver had to notify the principal and all the parties met in a room at the school.  The principal asked her did she do it.  She said, “Yes.”  The principal, who was also her teacher said, “Why?  You have never been violent.”  She told the principal what her nephew had said and he asked the bus driver if he had heard that.  The driver said yes and the boy admitted it so the matter was settled.  It was justified.  There was no punishment.  There was not even a letter or phone call to either her parents or her brother.

A little more time lapsed and she finally told a sister, who she was visiting with for the Summer.  The sister informed family members of what was going on.  She told her if something happens you call our sister and she will get you.  So the first time he tried something she stared him down and told him, “I will call our sister.  She will pick me up and I will live with her.  You will be here to tell dad where I am and why.”  He stopped in his tracks and never touched her sexually again.

I wish I could you that was the end of the story but you see it was not.  He started in on that family member that she had found him in bed with.  One day she looked in the little girl’s eyes and just knew.  She asked her.  The little girl lowered her head and told her what had been happening.  She hugged her and said, “Don’t you worry.  I am going to take care of this and he won’t hurt you ever again.  She walked the family member home and told the girl’s mother.  They later moved.  At the time they had a younger daughter and had seen the lack of protection for children so they were taken no chances.

If you are hoping that was the end of it I am sorry to disappoint you but what that little girl’s parents did not know was they were also taking an abuser with them.  You see the little girl’s brother had gone on to be a helper with his older relative and he was to repeat the pattern in the new home.  However, you see the rest is not my story to tell.  I can not give someone else’s testimony.  No one has the right to air other peoples’ laundry including the magazine that released the story on the Duggars.  They can pretend concern for victims all they want yet they proudly broke the story and never once attempted to blacken the girls’ ages or the parents’ names.  They sold their souls to the devil in an attempt to make money.  In fact considering that the magazine is owned by a company that prints porn makes their statement even more laughable.  Every day children are molested by other children because of porn they are trying to recreate.  There are statistics to prove my point but I don’t need one.  I lived it.  I ask you please do not to call me a victim.  You see I am a survivor.  I have been washed in blood of Christ and I get by because He gave His life.

Do not feel sorry for me.  Do not waste your time on pity for the other ones of us out there that have or are yet to come forward.  Instead I ask you to do three things.   First follow the link at the bottom of the blog and take a look at the map.    Check out what color your state is.  If your state is green congratulations you are in a state that cares about children.  If your state is yellow or red contact your congressmen.  Tell them to pass Erin’s law.  Next visit and like the page on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ ErinsLaw.  Lastly keep Erin Merryn in your prayers.  She is fighting for a good cause.

https://www.facebook.com/ErinsLaw/photos/ a.10150580953698412.377277.264312788411/10153022296578412/?type=1.


3 thoughts on “I am a survivor

  1. Thank you.. As a survivor.. I was so angry that .. That rag that released the victims information.. Claiming that they care.. Laughable is so right… I wondered if a child being harmed would be afraid to come forward.. Would the police release their information.. Someone might laugh at my fear.. But that fear is very real to a child being abused.. Thank you for your courage in telling your story


    1. Sadly, I fear the same. Most children are abused by someone they know. Many times, this is someone about whom the child cares. So, to see both victims and abuser publicly drug through the mud … may leave children feeling more than ever that they MUST hide their horrible secret. This is tragic.

      People need to remember what it was like to be a child. Feelings were big, and often seemed insurmountable. As unreasonable as it sounds to many, children have tender noble hearts and will often seek to protect their abuser. Or they may seek to protect other family members. For these reasons, we need to talk about abusers as people who need help, too.

      Thank you for sharing this heart-breaking story. May we someday see the end of this kind of burden being carried by the innocent.


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