Talents

 I was talking with a friend about how grateful I am for the talent God has given me in the area of poetry.  I told her I would share with you all why and also prompt you all to search for your talent(s) if you have not found them yet.  I was raised in the church.  Yet I had a secret.  I was abused as a teenager.  I won’t say how or by whom.  Neither is important to this part of my testimony or to the lesson I have to teach.  I can remember as a small child making up songs on the school bus or out in the woods.  I loved to take the old hymns and change words or add to them.  I did it all in my head and never remembered any of them.  In school we had a project where we were all writing poetry.  I was hunched over mine.  The teacher wanted to read it as I was working on it.  She asked me why I would not let her see it.  I told her I am not done.  You see I used to worry about whether or not someone would like my writings.

When I graduated from high school, I was in a bad place emotionally.  I had listened to the lies of the enemy for too long.   He used to torment me by telling me how God did not love me.  If He did He would have stopped things from happening.  He used call me this and that and I fell for it.  You see unlike the Duggars my family did not deal with my abuse.  I was not encouraged to tell and I certainly was never told that it was not my fault and how important I was in God’s eyes.  For years I had kept these secrets inside.

Out on my own I ended up in a physically abusive relationship.  Statistics tell us that is likely to happen to abused children.  One day I was writing a poem.  I can not remember the whole thing but I remember these words He says, “I love you then he beats me black and blue.”  He tore up that notebook quicker than a paper shredder could have.  I really do not remember much of what happened after that.  I was young, pregnant and miles from home.  I told God, “That is it.  If I can not even have this I will not write.”

I went on to have my son.  Finally, I told my family what was going on and my sister paid for a plane ticket over the phone using her credit card.  I went home to my parents.  Time after time I would try to write.  However, I could not put two words together and make a rhyme.  Something that had been so much a part of me was gone.  Nothing I could do would work.  I prayed to God and I cried out to Him.  About 5 years past.  One day I was in a place of such joy.  I started singing the words living proof about how we as human are living proof to a God that loves us and cares for us.  I put that poem at the bottom of this blog.

That day He restored what only He could.  He also made it better.  Now I can start a poem in my head and work on it as well as remember it.  He usually gives me my poems in song form.  I do not play an instrument.  Nor do I even know how to read music.  Yet that is how God delivers the messages to me.  Sometimes He starts them at church and I confess that I have to take notes to stay focused on the message.  I just jot in the margin what the inspiration is and finish it later.

I used to get upset with myself for all the Bible verses that I know but could not remember the references  for but now I thank God for them as they creep into my poetry.  You will find at least one verse hidden somewhere in every poem I have written.  Hey now we can use concordances to find the reference if it is needed.  All we have to remember is that if you have memorized verses in K J format you will not find them in NIV Bible.  LOL

The first time there was  talent night after God gave me Living Proof He told me to write it down.  I said, “Why?  I am not sharing it.”  He reminded me that what He gives He has the power to take away.  I wish I could say that was that last time I had that discussion with Him about sharing my work.  However, God always wins because I never want to be at that place again.  I have stood with knees knocking and teeth shattering forcing myself to read.

As a child I worried about if people would like my work.  Now the greatest compliment to me is that something I wrote touched someone’s heart.  When a person says my words brought comfort in the loss of a loved one, that means a lot to me.  I have heard these words and been amazed at how God uses His people, “I don’t know how you knew what I was feeling but you just blessed me.”  Those things matter more to me.   I have been encouraged to try to sell my poetry but I have not one clue how to do it.  Right now I just write for family, friends, to share at church and now this blog.

If you are reading this and think you don’t have a talent.  You are wrong.  Just think of what you enjoy doing and what you are good at.  That is probably your talent.  The Bible promises that we are all given talents.  If you are setting on yours remember every gift is from Him and what the God Lord gives He has the power to take away.  God bless you all and I hope and pray if you have not found your talent yet you do so soon.

Living Proof

Silence fills the air     as we bow our heads in prayer     People look at us and stare  They don’t have a clue   because they don’t know Him like we do   They don’t realize we’re living proof to a God who cares   Living proof that He’s still there   Proof to something more precious than diamonds or pearls   Living proof that the King of King still rules the world  Living proof to answered prayer

I look back on the things that I have done   I thank God that He sent His Son   So I could bow my head in a forgiveness prayer   Oh that sweet sweet day   when my sins were prayed away   and I became Living proof to a God who cares  Living proof that He’s still there    Living proof to something more precious than diamonds or pearls     Living proof that the King of King still rules the world   Living proof to answered prayer

Bad things happen but we are not alone    No He’s still there on His throne  Our every burden He bears  He loves the people of this earth    Didn’t he show it from the moment of His birth    When He became living and dying and living again proof to a God Who cares    Living proof that He’s still there    Living proof to something more precious than diamonds or pearls     Living proof that the King of King still rules the world   Living proof to answered prayer

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